Guilt

Guilt...

Guilt should be my middle name. Two to three times a week I blame myself for being too selfish (I haven't been so).  I feel guilt when I lose my temper at my blameless husband (sometimes he isn't so blameless). I feel guilty for treating a rude stranger politely (I feel sappy for responding thus). I blame myself for honking at a driver who nearly hit me.  I feel selfish for wanting to order lobster instead of chicken (chicken it always is). And I feel guilty when I feel I deserve and want too much.
Case in point: Our daughter just separated from her husband. She has four gorgeous children from 9-years-old down to twin girls who are 17 months. She is a single mother of four young children, is getting her masters in psychology and working full-time. Obviously, my husband and I would do anything for her to lessen her burden. I watch her two eldest children three days a week and both of us watch all four both days of the weekend, 10 hours a day. I have two days off a week where one or both days are spent running errands or going to appointments. But I feel guilty because my daughter needs our help, because she's a wonderful daughter, because she's a wonderful mother, because her children are my grandchildren, because my husband doesn't complain, because my husband says, "I was taught that we do for our family." And I don't? I understand, and I would do anything for them...but I secretly complain that I feel kind of trapped: I feel the necessity to help but I want to be free but... So I feel guilty.
Just had to vent. (Inhale/exhale) But I still feel my middle name is guilt.